Screams rend the morning air

I have been taking pregnancy yoga classes for the past 5 months. The purpose is to prepare my body for labour and to give me coping strategies and breathing techniques for the pain. Everything I have learned went right out of the window this morning when I woke up with a vicious cramp in my right calf. I sprang out of bed like my arse was on fire (pretty impressive given the size of my bump) and began hobbling around the room, bellowing like an angry bull. Inbetween bellows I managed to explain to Phil what the problem was and he grabbed my calf and massaged it (after first grabbing my thigh - he was still half asleep, the poor man). The pain melted away immediately. This does not bode well for my chances of coping in labour...

What's in a name?

The town hall have agreed to change my name to Catherine Gleghorn. This may seem like a small thing but it is a big deal to me. My chosen name will appear on baby M's birth certificate.

Now back to the baby. I'm trying to decide which baby carrier to buy and am finding this just as much of a minefield as choosing a travel system. The firm favourite at the moment is the Wilkinet Baby Carrier. It has a traditional look so that Phil can wear it without too much embarrassment and it has excellent reviews. Other than the baby carrier, I have pretty much finished shopping for baby things.

All being well, I will have a homebirth and this requires some purchases that we had not anticipated. Firstly, I have to buy two rectal thermometers. One for the baby and one for... me. How I tried to talk the midwife out of this. "Leave my bottom alone!" I told her but she would have none of it. She told me that once in labour I won't notice or give a damn what implements she chooses to shove up there. "Give me my dignity!" I told her. All pleas fell on deaf ears. We also have to raise the level of the bed to make examination easier. The midwife told us to go to the local supermarket and ask for eight Coke crates. No, I'm not kidding. I sent Phil to do this because I would probably have laughed or got very embarrassed (not quite as embarrassed as with the rectal thermometer, but embarrassed enough). Phil dutifully made the request and the assistant didn't even bat an eyelid - she just fetched the crates. I guess it is very common in Holland for births to be sponsored by the Coca Cola company.

Drowning in red tape

For those who haven't read my profile, my husband and I are British expats who have been living in The Netherlands for the past 6.5 years. This evening we went to the local town hall to register our marriage. We were married in Rome in April of last year. As you have probably gathered, we procrastinate quite a bit...

This should have been a very straightforward process which we finally made a priority of doing so that Phil is automatically assumed to be baby M's father without having to sign a parental declaration. Unfortunately, I had underestimated Dutch law...

Under British law I have the right to assume my husband's surname on marriage. This I did at the British Consulate in Amsterdam, and I had my passport changed accordingly. My marriage certificate is an Italian legal document and in the box that shows what my married name choices are, it gives both my maiden name and husband's surname as options. With me so far? Good. Now for the problem. Under Dutch law, the town hall has to accept the entry in this particular box exactly as it is written as my married name choice. So instead of being:

Catherine Fogg (maiden name)

or:

Catherine Gleghorn (husband's surname)

The Dutch want me to be:

Catherine Fogg Gleghorn

Are you kidding me?!? So the town hall has to investigate whether British and Italian law can take precedence over Dutch law here. It is clear what was intended in the marriage certificate and this was accepted by the British Consulate. I am not a Dutch citizen so I don't see how Dutch law can be allowed to prevent me from taking my husband's surname. I will find out tomorrow or the day after what the outcome of the investigation is and if they insist on this ridiculousness then I will have to take legal advice.

Grrr.

Apologies to baby M for hijacking his blog to have a rant in. He's doing well, by the way!