Fatty from the block

FATTY FROM THE BLOCK

Unsurprisingly, to be sung to the tune of "Jenny from the Block" by Jennifer Lopez

Don't be fooled by the hips that I got
I'm still, I'm still Fatty from the block
Used to weigh a little now I weigh a lot
No matter where I go I know where the boob is

Ode to Michael - 16 pounds (7.2 kg) and counting...

The fungal club

Well, Michael and I are both fully paid-up members of the fungal club. We went to see the doctor this afternoon and now have to be treated for thrush for the next two weeks. Michael voiced his displeasure by howling through the whole appointment. I have to paint the inside of his mouth 4 times a day with a gel. I did this for the first time this evening and it was a truly horrible experience. It is a reasonably large amount of gel (2.5 ml) for such a little mouth and I had to rub it on the inside of his cheeks and on his tongue in sufficiently small amounts to avoid choking him. He turned puce, tried to spit it out and was extremely unhappy. 5 minutes later he threw up over himself so I have to hope that enough of it stayed in his mouth to do the trick. It will probably do horrible things to his sleepsuit knowing my luck and in an hour or two he will look like he has been attacked by termites.

I think this all started when I had a nipple injury a few weeks ago. Michael was having a growth spurt and got a bit lazy with his latch. So we now have the following equation:

Nipple injury + warm, moist environment = thrush

Duly noted...

Oral thrush

*Expletives deleted*
Can any breastfeeding mummies out there give me any information on this?

Give and take

Two things have to happen to improve the world for my son.

1. Bring back mint choc chip ice-cream. Where did it go to? Did it follow the humble prawn cocktail into the ranks of obscurity?
2. For the love of God, get rid of Sir Jimmy Savile. According to Phil, I can't write what I want to write about him because it would be libellous. So I can't write that he is a rancid old lecher (allegedly). Pity. The reason for my rancour is that he is returning to our TV screens with a new series of "Jim'll Fix It". I assure you that his unwillingness to fix it for me as a young child has nothing to do with my current bile.

Put it in my mouth!

We had a rough day yesterday. Michael was fine on the day of his vaccinations but yesterday he just wouldn't settle and got very little sleep until late in the evening. We felt very sorry for him, and a little guilty for taking him along to be vaccinated. We also felt absolutely knackered and I needed someone to rock me and tell me a story by the time we fell into bed. He is doing much better today and has slept for most of the morning. This is fantastic because it gives me some time to do a few things around the house.

I have had to wash Michael's toys because he has finally decided to show some interest in them and wants to put them in his mouth. He has a favourite rabbit called Rab C. Nesbert (or Rab for short - for some reason everything I name ends in 'bert') and last night he desperately tried to shove Rab in his mouth. His face was lit up with excitement and he had gone cross-eyed with concentration. Sadly for him I played the overprotective Mummy card and took Rab away for a good wash. He has been used to entertain Michael for some months and has been left here, there, and everywhere and also dropped on the floor a time or two.

I'm hoping that Michael will sleep for another hour or so because I would really like to play "The Sims". I haven't had the chance to play since Michael was born. Phil and I created virtual representations of us and little Catherine and Phil live in a large house with their adopted son, Knut. Little Catherine and Phil are criminal masterminds. As I recall, I was trying to get little Phil kidnapped and impregnated by aliens when I left the game. No rest for the wicked...

3 months old!

I can't believe that Michael is 3 months old now. Where on earth has the time gone to?!? We took him to the baby clinic this morning for his second lot of vaccinations and for a general check-up. He was a very good boy and only cried a little, but when he did cry there were TEARS! He has never cried with tears before and it broke my heart to see it. Phil and I are already wrapped around his little finger, but if tears are going to be thrown into the mix then we really are in trouble. Before I forget, here are Michael's 3 month stats:


Age: 3 months and 1 day old
Weight: 6.8 kg (15 pounds)
Length: 63.5 cm
Head circumference: 40.5 cm
Current temperament: Peaceful
Current location: Lying in his pram (again)

The above photograph shows him sitting in his Bumbo. It is only in the last couple of weeks that he has had the muscle strength to sit in it without his head flopping a little. He hasn't decided if he likes the Bumbo yet. He is a nosy little chap (like his father) and likes to be on the move all the time, so his preferred location is riding around on Mummy or Daddy's shoulder.

As I mentioned previously, Michael is the star of his own webcast once a week. My parents get to coo over him on Saturday morning. This Saturday, he was very chatty and gave them lots of conversation, smiles and giggles. When he is in a good mood, he chats all the time so it looks like he is going to be a chatterbox like his mother (poor child.) Conversation for him takes up every ounce of his strength. He doesn't just chat with his voice - his arms will be waving around like windmill blades, his eyebrows waggle and expressions chase their way across his face in quick succession. Phil and I love it.

New milestones

Judging by the amount he has been feeding in the last couple of days, Michael is having his 3 month growth spurt. A growth spurt usually heralds some new tricks and we haven't been disappointed. He has started to properly grab at things now. I was leaning over him on the changing station and he grabbed a chunk of my hair in his pudgy little fists - very cute indeed if a little painful. He is also holding his head up properly when placed on his stomach. I have been giving him plenty of tummy time so that he would get strong enough neck muscles to do this. It means that he can go out with me in the Ergo Baby Carrier and can also play in his door bouncer.

In slightly less good news he is obsessively chewing his fists and dribbling a lot so I think he is teething. Very alarming, since the symptoms can persist for several months before the pearly offender shows itself.

Spending

I do not like doing the washing up - in fact I absolutely hate it - and some six years ago I suggested to Phil that we buy a dishwasher. He considered it a waste of money and said that he was more than happy to do the washing up from then on. I took him at his word. How those words would come to haunt him. Occasionally I would feel a twinge of guilt and, warily eyeing the mountain of dirty crockery, I would again suggest a dishwasher and he would insist that he was happy to continue doing the washing up. Three years after my initial suggestion he, and his dishpan hands, finally cracked and we bought a dishwasher. He now worships the dishwasher and I often tease him on his reluctance to buy one.

This little story should give you the idea that Phil and I approach spending money somewhat differently. He likes to save it or avoid spending it. I like to save it too but also spend it on sensible, quality purchases. Fast forward to last weekend and Phil, Michael and I were to be found standing in the unfortunately named "Baby Dump" looking at highchairs. There were about 20 or so highchairs on sale and we immediately dismissed the wooden ones for hygiene reasons and then the ones with cloth seat covers, and finally the ones without wheels. This left us looking at about 6 highchairs. I immediately zoned in on the most aesthetically pleasing one and noticed that it had won multiple awards. It was - alas - the most expensive highchair in the store. Phil liked the look of it too but went slightly green at the price. He wanted to buy something - anything - that was cheaper. It didn't really matter how much cheaper, just cheaper. This led to a somewhat heated exchange in the middle of the highchair section. Michael was resting on my shoulder, blissfully unaware of all this and periodically being sick down my back.

When we finally left the store (I'll leave it to your imagination which highchair we eventually bought) we both agreed very readily what our next purchase would be - two Premium Burger menus from McDonald's.

Overslept?!?

I can't believe it but I overslept this morning. Phil and I fell into bed exhausted at 2:30am and forgot to set the alarm. Michael did what he has only ever done once before in his whole life - he slept for over 7 hours without waking. The next thing I knew, the phone was ringing and it was 9:30am. The doctor's receptionist wanted to know why Michael and I had not come in for Michael's appointment at 9:15am. I was totally flustered, apologised profusely and begged her to give us another appointment. My grovelling paid off and she said that we could see the doctor if we could be at the surgery within 15 minutes. I wouldn't have believed it possible but we managed to get ourselves and Michael dressed and ready within 10 minutes and we actually made it to the surgery in time. Unfortunately, there had been no time to feed Michael before leaving so he was grumbling and my breasts felt like they were going to explode.

The reason for this mad dash was that Michael has had a rash for the last week and has been generally out of sorts for the last few days. The doctor thinks it is either a viral infection or a reaction to the vaccinations he had 3 weeks ago. It is very difficult to tell with little babies, especially because he has no other symptoms like a fever or appetite loss.

My poor little boy. At least we now know why he has been such a grump. He is normally very sunny tempered and can cheerfully entertain himself for over half an hour on his activity gym. It is very cute to watch him grabbing for the toys and babbling at them. He has taken a real shine to a little giraffe and smiles and talks to him for ages. Fingers crossed he will be feeling better very soon because I want to try out my baby carrier and take him into Hoofddorp one lunchtime to see Phil. Phil would love this - especially because Phil has been wanting to go to the children's farm in Hoofddorp for years and Michael will give him just the excuse he needs to go.

General update

Phil and I have had a lot of fun over the last few days. We managed to cook a three-course meal on Saturday and enjoy it by candlelight and as you can see from the photograph to the left, we celebrated Hallowe'en too. I created some spooky fairy cakes, Phil carved a pumpkin and we dressed Michael in a pumpkin outfit. Perhaps one day he will forgive us for this indignity. Unbeknownst to him, there are further indignities to come as I have a Christmas pudding outfit for over the festive season. Mwahaha...

Since this is a diary on the progress of Baby Gleghorn, I had better take a moment to update his statistics:

Name: Michael Alexander Gleghorn
Age: 2 months and 3 weeks old
Weight: 6.5 kg (14.3 pounds)!
Current temperament: Restless
Current location: Lying in his pram

I can't remember what his head circumference and length were when last measured at the baby clinic, but I do remember that he is in the 75th centile.

For my future reference, I am going to note down those purchases I have made that have been useful, and those that have been a complete waste of my time and money. Hopefully I won't make the same mistakes with future children.

Useful:

• Tiny Love Symphony Light & Motion Mobile
• Gymini Super Deluxe - Lights & Music Activity Gym
• Bouncing cradle
• The Dr. Seuss books - especially "Fox in Socks"

Total waste of money

• The Tummy Tub. Michael hated it from the start and was constantly trying (and succeeding) to stand up.
• The Slumber Bear. This bear has a recording of the womb hidden in it's innards. It is supposed to soothe the baby to sleep. It just annoyed the hell out of Michael, although it did send Phil to sleep...
• Any wind-up mobile. Having to constantly wind the bloody thing was enough to drive anyone to drink. Since I am breastfeeding, Phil had to do the drinking on my behalf.
• Nature environmentally friendly nappies. A friend of mine uses these for his son and has had no problems with them whatsoever. However, I was not so lucky. They LEAK. On several occasions, no more than two hours after putting the nappy on Michael, he would have big wet patches on his thighs. This never happens with Huggies or Pampers.

Right... I think that is about it for now. I'm off to change Little Sir's nappy.